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Tea on Tuesday

    Mood 'boring' because reading all the research papers can really made me dizzy sometimes. One way to made my eyes go big all again is by taking some dose of caffeine, to fill in the 'nodding off' moments.

    So, are you a coffee or tea person? I am both - coffee in the morning to go along with my nasi lemak , and tea in the afternoon to go with my goreng pisang (omputih says banana fritters, owkay...!). I can't live without a dose of coffee coz it'll make me much more alert in the morning. In fact, all my life I grew up with the coffee-drinkers around me since one of my father's cousin is actually a big coffee producer back in his hometown (check the coffee with the two rhino brand!). It's always coffee most of the times... and I think that's why most of us in the family are born brilliant (mwahahaha...sila lempang di sini!) coz coffee can help in making you genius. Not my word okay, but it's actually an outcome of previous researches. And according to the fitness guru, coffee is also good for the muscle recovery... so better down a cup during the exercise routine. Yet, you can't drink too much coffee since it can also heat you up due to its high heat capacity of the beans. Or worse, it'll make you hallucinating! No kidding, you may check the news in The Londonpaper a couple of years back when one barista apparently drink too much espresso and she did passed out and hallucinating too! Erkkksss... scary.

    When afternoon comes, I prefer to drink tea coz tea help calm me down, unlike coffee coz it can make me become too hyper. I think that's why the English have those afternoon tea 'phenomenon' as drinking tea in the midday will assist in easing things up. But some expert says that tea have more caffeine than coffee... and I think that's why I sometimes can stay up late at night by drinking tea instead of coffee!

    Mentioning tea, it reminds me of a story of a future groom who wanna get married but have lack of confidence due to his less 'endowment' down under. The story goes like this...

    There was this guy who wanna get married in a month's time. This guy is very excited for tying up the knot, but he was quite worried coz his 'ehem' is not as big as he think it is. So, one day the guy went up to meet the medicine man or bomoh, in order to get some help in that area. He said to the bomoh;

    Guy : Tok, I need a help. Can you give me anything that can help me increase the size of my *tooot*?

    Bomoh  : Oh, that's easy. Every night before you go to sleep, make sure you soak your *tooot* in a bowl of tea. No sugar okay. In a month time, I guarantee that you *tooot* will become much bigger!

    Contempt with the bomoh's advice, the guy went home and did what he's been ordered to do. Every night before he went to bed, about half an hour he'll soak his 'ehem' in a bowl of tea... no sugar added, otherwise it'll be too sweet! (wahahahaha!) Night after night after night, he did the same... with a hope that his *tooot* will be bigger than what he currently got.

    Then, came a couple of days prior the wedding ceremony, the guy noticed bad things happen to his 'down under'. His *toootisn't getting any bigger as what he believed to be, but on the contrary it got even smaller! Whaaattt...? Feeling quite upset, angry and very unsatisfied with what happened, he went back to meet the bomoh to ask on the practice he's been going through.

    The guy: Tok, apsal saya punya *tooot* ni tak besar2 pun? Tiap2 malam saya rendam dalam teh tu... tapi tak jadi apapepun!?? Jadi makin kecik adalah... tolong tok, saya dah nak kawin esok karang ni!!

    Bomoh : Teh apa ko pakai??

    The guy : Slimming tea...

    Bomoh : Hmmm... patut la. No komen (jawab ala Fasha Sandha la plak!).

    So, moral of the story; ask for a complete description on how to do things correctly. Or better yet, be satisfied with what you have! For anything else, the guy can always wear Aussiebum Wonderjock to give that extra, extra uplift on the down under, don't you think?

    *not a true story. sorry. mood merapu hari ni...  =)